Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships: Why Early Conversations Matter
Across Portsmouth, Havant, Gosport and Fareham, young people are forming ideas about relationships long before they have the language to name what feels right or wrong. For many, those ideas are shaped by what they see at home, online or among peers. When unhealthy dynamics become normalised early, they can quietly follow young people into adulthood, shaping self-worth, expectations and decision-making in ways that are often unseen. That is why creating space to talk openly about healthy and unhealthy relationships is not an optional extra; it is essential early intervention.
At Politely Rebellious Next Gen CIC, we approach this work with care, realism and responsibility. Conversations about relationships are not about telling young people what to think or who to trust. They are about helping young people recognise respect, boundaries and safety, and about giving them the confidence to question behaviours that do not feel right. Healthy relationships are rooted in mutual respect, consent, communication and choice. Unhealthy relationships often blur those lines, replacing them with control, pressure, fear or silence. Without early guidance, those patterns can be misunderstood as normal, or worse, deserved.
Hampshire Police have consistently highlighted through their work on Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) that harmful behaviours do not begin with serious violence. They begin with attitudes, language and a lack of understanding around boundaries and respect. This preventative lens got us thinking and ultimately led to the underpinning of our programme design for What is Love?, because if we wait until harm is visible, we have already missed vital opportunities to protect and empower.
The foundations of What is Love? were shaped not only by professional insight, but by lived experience. I designed this programme with the benefit of hindsight and the ability to look back on my own past relationships with an inquisitive, compassionate and honest mind. As a child and young person, I experienced trauma that deeply influenced how I understood relationships, trust and validation. I was groomed by a paedophile at a time when I did not have the language, confidence or support to recognise what was happening to me. Like many survivors, I internalised confusion and silence rather than clarity and safety.
That experience did not exist in isolation. It influenced how I viewed myself, how I interpreted attention and how I navigated relationships later in life. When unhealthy dynamics are introduced early, especially in the context of trauma, they can shape expectations in ways that feel normal because they are familiar. Looking back now, I can see how easily harmful behaviour can be disguised as care, interest or affection when a young person is already vulnerable and searching for connection and reassurance.
What is Love? was created from the heart, but it is also rooted in responsibility. It exists because I know, personally, how different my path might have been if I had been supported earlier to understand boundaries, consent and self-worth. This programme is not about revisiting trauma or asking young people to disclose experiences. It is about giving them tools, language and confidence so that if something feels wrong, they trust that feeling and know they are entitled to safety and respect.
The programme supports young girls to explore what healthy relationships look like in practice, while also creating space to talk honestly about the pressures they face. This includes navigating friendships, family relationships, early romantic experiences and the influence of social media and digital communication. These conversations are delivered in a way that is age-appropriate, non-judgemental and supportive. We are not here to instil fear, but to build awareness, agency and resilience.
The impact of these conversations is often quiet but powerful. One young person reflected after a workshop, “Thank you for making me think more about how others should treat me.” That simple sentence captures why this work matters. When young people begin to reflect on how they deserve to be treated, they start to set boundaries, ask questions and recognise their own worth. These are small shifts that can have lifelong impact.
This work would not be possible without the support of partners who share our commitment to early intervention and community impact. We are grateful to AtkinsRéalis and Comserv, whose sponsorship has supported the development of this programme and is enabling its initial delivery to young girls across Portsmouth, Havant, Gosport and Fareham. Their support reflects a shared understanding that safeguarding and education are collective responsibilities, and that meaningful prevention requires investment, trust and collaboration.
Hampshire Police’s approach to tackling VAWG also reinforces the importance of collective responsibility. Preventing harm is not solely the role of the criminal justice system. Schools, community organisations, families, employers and local partners all have a role to play in shaping safer environments and healthier expectations. By working together, we can challenge harmful behaviours before they escalate and reinforce the message that respect and consent are non-negotiable.
At Politely Rebellious Next Gen CIC, we see this work as part of a long-term commitment to young people and communities. Healthy relationships are not about perfection; they are about feeling safe, valued and able to be yourself. By supporting young people to understand this early, we are not only responding to current risks, but actively contributing to the prevention of future harm.
With the support of partners like AtkinsRéalis and Comserv, and informed by the preventative focus of Hampshire Police’s work on VAWG, we remain committed to creating spaces where young people can learn, reflect and grow. Not by telling them who they should be, but by showing them that they deserve safety, respect and choice in every relationship.
Keshia Stewart Founder & Managing Director